Actually don't want to post today 1...

Then now also got nothing to do
now only 11.35 thurday at night... alone in my room
Thinking of her
Thinking of what she said
And how she treated me.........

I now feeling very vexed........

I'm having mixed feelings.... sadness, disapponted, fustrated......

I keep thinking that i still have a chance but everytime i think that i have chance i'll think that she said she "don't want to get into a relationship until 18" and she said "when both of us started out the starting was still enjoyable"
Then after that i think....
Even if i wait for her until 18....
And follow her go ITE or private..
she might not like me by then....
I also she now HATES me...
Every time give me attuide one lor.....
Hate her current attutide problem......
Still prefer her when she was last time....
A positive kinda person....
Now is like she took all my negitivity and use it lar......
Then i kinda feel responsible....
Cause our 1 was the last one the after that then she say don't want any until 18......
And i still want to be with her one lor!!!!
I dunno lar....
Now my life seems a little more comlicated....
I only know 1 thing she don't like bout me......
My hatred to make decition.....
And my desire to die....
By the way
I've been keeping away from all my friends.....
and i kinda prefer it and i dunno why....
Maybe i need someone to lend me a lisenting ear......
and give my some advice....
Well i'll also know that person will never come...
Bout the decition thing....

I dunno why but i really hate amking decition......
And i don't really like using my brain that much......
I kinda like my happy-go-lucky life not the one with twist and turns....
But now my life and unhappy and lonely.......
and i wanted to ask her why she said those thing and i wanted to hear it from her personally....
But everytime i try talking to her.....
I can hear from her voice that she is angry....
And since i love her...
I diffinaltly won't want to hurt her or make her angry.....
Thats why up till now.....
I'vw not yet build up the courage to ask her......
And i'll no more chances any more.....
Cause schol is already over......
I'm already missing her....
Even though it's a few hours only.....

I'm thinking bout her and....

feep down inside.....
in the depths of my heart.....
I still love her and....
Still want to be together together....
And i keep remebering every thing that we had together....
My love i know you won't be able to read this but then...
I still wanna tell you....
Princess I love you and i just want t be with you till the end of time